Dear Erica,
I took the night off from watching Christmas movies to catch The Kids Are All Right before it comes out on DVD this Tuesday. I absolutely loved that movie, but since it has nothing to do with Christmas, I will leave it there.
But I got to thinking that since I am taking a day off from Christmas movies, I would let you know what Christmas movies I will NOT be watching this year. Usually I am a trooper and joyously trudge through every holiday movie on my shelf. However, that shelf has gotten increasingly expansive over the years so I think it's time to cross a few off my list. This year, anyways. So here goes...
Surviving Christmas - Ben Affleck hires the family who moved into his childhood home to provide him a warm and merry holiday. It's not the worst thing I've seen, but it's mean spirited and has a weird porno subplot that has no place in a Christmas movie. I don't think so.
Deck the Halls - Danny DeVito vows to decorate his house so brightly that it can be seen from space. Matthew Broderick launches an attack from across the street. Kristin Davis is a total idiot. Life is just too short for this crap.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the Jim Carrey version) - This is bar none the ugliest movie I have ever laid eyes on. What the hell was Ron Howard thinking when he directed this garbage? It's shot extremely poorly, as if there were a drunken hobo holding the camera. Yuck.
Miracle on 34th Street (1994) - Dylan McDermott looks like he smells really good and Mara Wilson is totally adorable. But after the first half hour it becomes so god-awful and boring that I have to take a year off from this one. It's maybe worth visiting every few years or so, but that's about it.
Fred Claus - God, how I hated this heaping pile of cow dung. Paul Giamatti as Santa Claus? Say what?! Worst casting ever.
Yeah, these are going to collect dust for another year. We'll see what happens when I pull them out again in 12 months, but somehow I doubt time will make them any better.
Till next time,
Bradley
I love watching bad Xmas movies and making fun of them, but there is something really sad and depressing doing that alone. So I will wait until I can watch those and a few more with you guys. I still think that if I come and visit this summer we should celebrate "Christmas in July". We could watch all the bad xmas movies then. With your cheese-ball of course!
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