I have fond childhood memories of this movie, although I had not seen it since I was probably 11 or 12 years old. Tonight it was on TV so I warmed up a cup of hot cocoa, poured a bowl of holiday nuts and bolts, and curled up on the couch for what promised to be a spirited walk down memory lane. Unfortunately I was punk'd.This is an awful, boring, mean spirited, badly acted, hideous mess. I can see why I probably liked it as a kid, since it's told from the perspective of two children. But watching it now as an adult, I just want to shake the kids and tell them they are being completely unreasonable. Why would they want the two parents they have, let alone want them together? Their mom is a self-righteous bitch and their dad forces them into slave labor at his diner. And they enjoy it? Yeah freaking right. And don't even get me started on mom's new boyfriend. Kevin Nealon is the kind of man you leave, not the one you leave someone for.
The only saving grace here is Lauren Bacall. She has some truly funny moments, but they are the only funny moments. The rest of the movie is all about arguments and working. I'm usually easy on kid actors, but Thora Birch never stops "acting" her little heart out. It's totally gross. And what about Leslie Nielsen as Santa Claus? I love him, and am still pretty sad that he just died, but he gives me the creeps as the man in the big red suit.
I drifted off about half way through and eventually turned it off. That's probably a good thing because now I can still be left with fond childhood memories of half a movie rather than none at all.
Till next time,
Bradley
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